The dos and don’ts of online dating and some useful tips for guys and gals.
While it seems the rest of the world is either in a relationship, married, engaged or on the road to becoming divorced, you are not alone. According to the US Census Bureau, over 40% of American citizens over the age of 18 are single. As the saying goes, there is plenty of fish in the sea.
To catch or to be caught is then an entirely different story. Once you have exhausted your own network and have appeased your friends by venturing out on countless blind dates, it is time to take matters into your own hands and take your features and benefits to the Internet.
The great thing about online dating is you get to be as selective as you want to be. You don’t have to reposition yourself at the bar while some leach is trying to get your attention through some bad pick-up lines. Online dating is safe as dating your best friend’s brother if you follow some simple guidelines. I have included the following dos and don’ts through my own experience which was successful, and through testimonials of friends who also found their mate and for some, a husband or wife through the “old fashion” way of dating ~ online.
Creating Your Profile
Be direct, outline your boundaries and be clear on the type of person you are looking for. Stay away from words like “need” or “desire”. The best tag line I saw and used was “if you do not have the above attributes, please do not waste your time, need not reply”
Do not respond to everyone, and do not view the photos until you have read the profile. I don’t care what he or she looks like, read their profile. We all take bad pictures; their profile is what you are looking at. When you are both 80 I can assure you, you won’t be looking anything like the profile picture you posted. I think pictures should be removed and everyone should be forced to pick up the phone. That is of course only my humble/expert opinion.
Drive yourself to the first date. Choose a place for a coffee or a drink. If things are working out, you can always move into dinner or lunch. If not then leaving after a coffee or a drink is much easier. I once faked a sudden onslaught of the stomach flu, not fun and it certainly taught me not to commit to dinner.
After Date One
The guy always calls first. Sorry guys but that are just the way it is. Women have screwed it up in the 20th century for you boys. Men like to court; women let them court you. Men should pay for the first date … always!
After the first date ladies, a simple thank you for the coffee email is polite. If you don’t want to see them again, everyone is worth the respect of the rejection phone call. It should go something like this:
“Thank you for your time yesterday but I don’t think you are a match for me” would be fine. Please don’t get into details, and don’t promise to be friends, and do not email! Women you can do this too. If you know he is not the one, tell him and move on. The email should be kept for flirting and fun correspondence while dating, email is not for rejection letters and break-ups.
You can immediately get intimate if you are dating a girl from the doublelist. Otherwise, No kissing and no sex on the first date. I incorporated the 10-date rule for becoming intimate. On date two a hug and a quick peck. Date three you are permitted to kiss. Your goal is to get to 10 dates before becoming intimate, aim for 10 and settle at eight.
I dated a lot of frogs before I found my prince. When I finally figured it out, I had a date for Christmas Eve, who is still my King today after six years. For me, if I had to do it again, I would be taking my eyes to the keyboard rather than the bar and once again following the dos and don’ts and always having fun.